I signed up to do a "mini" triathlon. It seemed like a good idea at the time - you know, the next challenge and all that. A teacher friend of mine asked me to do it with her, so I said yes. This was back in December when March 24th seemed like a lifetime away. Now it's next weekend....as in 6 days from now. Now the thought of it - not so much.
Yup, I'm in great shape. Not as in Sports Illustrated bathing suit edition thong bikini type shape, just like a regular person - still a little flabby, size 14; I just work out a lot. So in theory, I can probably run 1.5 miles, bike 4 miles and swim 10 laps without the paramedics being called in with paddles and loud, "Clear!" needed to call me back from the bright light.
But I'm a little petrified. For starters, I really hate to run. Really. Hate. Like when I watch movies when someone is being chased by the bad guys, I know if it were me I would just stop running, bend over with my hands on my knees, and wheezily tell them anything they wanted to know, just so I could stop running. It's not a pretty truth about me but it is true.
And I guess I'm a little fearful of the unknown....and the annoying wedgie. I mean, I'm not really sure what to wear. Can you run in a bathing suit? I'd still have to wear one of my industrial strength jogging bras so what's the benefit of a swim suit? And don't tell me about the triathlon store in the next town. Given that I'll probably never do another one of these, I'm not planking down $68 for one of those weird singlet thingies. I'm just not. So I'm still trying to configure something I can run, bike and swim that won't give me the mother of all wedgies. I do not want to be that 53 year old yanking on her Fruit of the Looms while the groovy youngsters flash by - probably wearing the weird singlet things.
It's not just the running I worry about: where do you keep your bike while you run? Will people notice I'm wearing my son's helmet from 6th grade? Which side is the front? I may hate biking, too - who knows? Before yesterday, I hadn't ridden one in over 15 years. Why? you ask, especially if you know I used to love biking. That would be because I stopped riding bikes when the thought of how my size 22 butt looked from the back kept me from getting on a bike. I know....blah, blah, blah - let's just say that's all "behind" me now. So if I decide that I like biking, I'll get my own helmet. Promise. Something sassy - probably pink.
But I've done fear. And now I'm done with fear. So yesterday morning, unable to procrastinate any longer, I suited up, ran 1.8 miles, hopped on the newly tuned up biked the same route. And guess what? No paramedics, no wedgies. And it was okay.
And next Sunday, I'll do the triathlon. And I'll worry all week that I won't have the same outfit as the popular girls....or that I'll forget to take my sneakers off before I get in the pool....or....or maybe I'll just do it. It wasn't like losing 92 pounds was a piece of cake (it was the opposite of cake. More like celery), but I did that. So, hah! Take that, world. If I knew now what the weather, wind or wedgie conditions were going to be, I'd know exactly how to plan. But that's not really how life happens, is it? I just have to do it. And I hope the realization that I pushed myself to do something way out of my comfort zone, both physically and emotionally will make it all wedgie-worthy. Don't you agree?
